


i'll give a world for you to conquer when you're grown

by nevermindthewind



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Early Mornings, F/M, Kid Fic, New Parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-19 01:52:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17592464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevermindthewind/pseuds/nevermindthewind
Summary: “How’d you get so wise?”“Like you said, motherhood really changes a person.”Or, Amy and Jake talk about their ~*feelings*~





	i'll give a world for you to conquer when you're grown

**Author's Note:**

  * For [4drinkamy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/4drinkamy/gifts).



> for my love, emma aka @fourdrinkamy aka @4drinkamy
> 
> based on the song i'd give my life for you from miss saigon (also where the title's from)
> 
> hope you all like this little piece of kid floof

Despite the fact that neither of them have slept consistently for more than three hours in the last three months and all of Amy’s attempts to get him to go back to sleep, Jake insists on getting up with her for the four AM feed. Amy thinks he’s absolutely insane, but whatever. She does like the company, even if their only form of communication is the occasional giggle at whatever cute thing Maya does while she eats. So when Maya wakes up at 3:59 (a minute early -- such a Santiago) Amy’s not surprised by the gentle groan of the bed as Jake rolls off his side and pads over to the bassinet.

 

“Hi sweet girl! Are you ready for some food?” 

 

Amy opens her eyes to see Jake cradling a crying Maya against his chest, bouncing her the way she likes as he brings her back to the bed. Both heads of hair are particularly wild this morning, with Maya’s dark mohawk rivaling her dad’s fluffy curls. It’s so cute Amy kinda wants to cry. Although, that could just be the lack of sleep.

 

“Good morning,” she says with a yawn. Jake chuckles as he settles onto the bed.

 

“Good morning,” he replies as he hands her the baby. In this quick little exchange Amy hears the wariness in his voice, sees the growing bags under his eyes. She cocks her head.

 

“Everything okay?”

 

Jake nods, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. “Yeah, just tired. Didn’t sleep well last night.” 

 

Something tells her there’s more to it then that, but before Amy can ask any follow up questions Maya’s cries begin to rise again. 

 

Amy returns her attention to the baby, smiling and giving her daughter a bright “And good morning to you, mi amor!” before lifting her shirt and guiding Maya towards her chest. Within seconds she’s latched on, her tiny hand lightly gripping a strand of Amy’s hair as she starts to eat. The three of them sit in silence for awhile, relishing the calm before the rest of their day begins. Amy gets so caught up in watching Maya and making sure she doesn’t accidentally rip her hair out she almost forgets Jake’s strange demeanor until he speaks up some ten minutes later.

 

“You ever get overwhelmed by all of this?” 

 

Amy looks up from the baby. “You mean being a parent?”

 

He nods wordlessly, looking up at her with an almost sheepish look on his face. 

 

“Oh, all the time,” Amy exclaims, her voice just loud enough to earn her a slight grunt of discontent from Maya. Both Jake and Amy wince, Amy running her hand over her daughter’s tuft of hair and gently guiding her back to her breast. Thankfully, Maya is relatively easy to soothe in the mornings and within seconds it’s back to breakfast as usual. 

 

“Anyway,” Amy continues, quieter this time with her eyes back on Maya, “Yes, I’m constantly overwhelmed. Like being a mom is amazing, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like my brain is always thinking about the things I’m doing wrong.” She looks back at Jake, who’s visibly relieved. Clearly he’s been worried about bringing this up. “You feel it, too?”

 

Jake nods, running a hand through his own wild bedhead. “Yeah. Sometimes I get so...freaked out. Like I love her so much it actually scares me. And I wanna protect her from everything, you know? But I know I can’t do that. I know I’m gonna do some things wrong and probably fuck up and on top of that the world’s such an awful place. I mean, we’re cops for god’s sake, we’ve seen the absolute scum of the earth and someday she’s gonna see that too and there’s nothing we can do --”

 

“Jake --”

 

He keeps going; the floodgates apparently are wide open now that he’s started. “And like, I know you always say I’m not gonna be like my dad and I believe you most of the time but then I think about all the other ways I could mess up and I get so freaking scared. I don’t want to mess this up, don’t want to mess  _ her _ up. And then --”

 

“ _ Jake _ .”

 

This time he stops.

 

“Sorry. I know I’m rambling,” he mumbles, dropping his gaze to his hands. “It’s just...she’s so perfect. And I can’t stand the thought of her getting hurt.”

 

“Hey.” Amy reaches a hand out and places it on Jake’s knee. He sets his own hand on hers but doesn’t look up. “Babe, look at me.”

 

He sniffs, wiping his eyes before finally looking up and locking his eyes onto hers. “What?”

 

Good god, her heart feels like it’s going to explode straight out of her chest. Amy smiles through her own tears and squeezes his leg. “I love you.”

 

Jake lets out the smallest laugh. “I love you, too.”

 

“I love how much you love our baby,” she continues, her voice catching on the last word. Normally she’d be annoyed with herself for cracking, but lord knows Jake would never judge her for that. 

 

“Thanks,” he says, his smile widening just a bit. Apprehension still lurks behind his eyes.

 

“And also,” she adds, “I feel the exact same way. About all of it.”

 

“Really?” 

 

“God, yes.” Amy watches his entire body relax, his shoulders going back to their normal height before she brings her gaze back to Maya, who’s blissfully unaware of her parents’ current stress levels. “She didn’t ask to be born, did she? She just came into the world thinking everything was perfect, and someday she’s gonna find out that’s not always true. That breaks my heart a little bit. But,” She kisses Maya’s tiny forehead before continuing, “I have a feeling she’s gonna be okay.”

 

“How can you possibly know that?” 

 

Amy pauses before answering in an attempt to collect her thoughts. She wants to be sure she gets this right. “Well,” she starts, “I know how much I love you both. And I see every day how much you love us. Plus, I know we both want to give her everything we never had, right?”

 

“I would literally give my life for either of you,” Jake interjects.

 

“I really, really hope it doesn’t come to that, but same,” she replies, causing Jake to smile. She grins back. “So, I don’t know, I guess I have to believe all of that will be enough. You and me, we’ll make sure she’s happy and healthy and loved. We will give her the best life we can. That’s all we can really do.”

 

She squeezes his knee one more time before sliding her hand up to his neck and pulling him into a soft kiss. They linger just for a second, drawing the moment out before Jake draws back and rests his forehead against hers. “How’d you get so wise?” he murmurs.

 

Amy smiles, threading her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. “Like you said, motherhood really changes a person.”

 

“Wait, when did I say that?” Jake asks as he pulls away settles back into his pillows. 

 

Amy arches an eyebrow. “Jimmy Jabs 2014, remember? The time you couldn’t stop flirting with me and my sick dance moves? You stole my fake belly and pretended it was our baby.”

 

“Oh yeah!” Jake’s eyes light up. “I predicted the future, didn’t I?” he asks smugly.

 

It’s at that moment that Maya pulls away, letting out a little grunt that sounds like the world’s tiniest scoff. Amy bursts out laughing. 

 

“Yeah, I’m with Maya. That’s a bit of a stretch.”

 

“I literally said we were having a baby together,” Jake exclaims. “It wasn’t for another few years, but still! I was technically not wrong.”

 

Amy playfully narrows her eyes at him as she burps the baby. “True, you definitely weren’t wrong. And I am more than okay with that.”

 

“Wow, you’re okay with being wrong? Motherhood really has changed you.”

 

“I guess so,” she sighs, clearly being melodramatic.

 

Jake leans over and kisses her shoulder, the closest part of her he can reach. Suddenly his mood shifts as he looks up at Amy with a vulnerability she knows he only reserves for her. “I love you both so much,” he whispers.

 

Amy can’t help but smile back at him, knowing how much he means those words. Knowing that he will do anything and everything to give her and their daughter the best life he can. 

 

“We love you too.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> comment or kudos always make my day:)
> 
> also feel free to come hang out on my tumblr @nevermindthewind


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